I had always thought that I would write about my second pregnancy. Approximately 40 weeks of logging and sharing my womb’s who, what, why. Unfortunately, the idea is great in theory, just not so great in practice. After 8 months, my uterus is still vacant *sigh*. I may just have to adapt and focus my writing on something else? I can’t just keep waiting around hoping my body will change its mind one month. I mean, what if it never happens?! Eek!
I have thought about writing a blog on the trials and tribulations of a 30-somethings challenge to conceive. However, after spending these long months hoping and wishing, my emotions are running high and it could all get too heavy. All I really wanted was an honest, light-hearted, preferably humorous, recount of my pregnancy journey. Sure, there’s an audience for both. I’m just not sure I could bare that part of my soul. Especially with an audience that could mainly consist of complete strangers.
The thought of not being able to write about my desired blog topic is such a downer. Naively, I assumed that getting pregnant again would just happen for me. Yeah, I had infertility issues prior to my first child, but he miraculously came along and without any medical intervention. Something my husband and I didn’t think was going to be possible. I just figured after having one baby, my body naturally knew what to do now and my infertility issues might have disappeared. As Hubby and I are approaching the one year mark of trying to get pregnant, we’re thinking IVF may soon be on the cards. Unfortunately, and as much as I don’t want to, I’ll just have to pick a different blog topic. Although I’m not even sure what that could be right now? Sadly, I feel as though I’m slowly headed “up sh*t creek”, when all I really want is to get “up the duff”.
Argh, all this self-pressure is hindering my ability to move forward and “just get started” on my blog. Maybe I should try to relax and not get so caught up in exactly what my niche is and “just let it flow”. Most of all I’m a Mumma who is totally in love with her little family. Whether my family grows or not, I’ll always have, what can sometimes seem like two children (hubby often seems like one – ladies you know what I’m talking about), to run around after. That alone could be all the writing material I need? It’s more broad than my original idea, but it’s a step in the right direction. Hopefully it’ll all figure itself out whilst I just keep trying to get knocked up.