I’m so over being pregnant!

38 weeks pregnant and about to hit my 39th. I had an appointment with my midwife early on in the week. She did her usual check-up and pronounced that the baby is ready to come out – “It could be anyway day now”. She could see that my tummy has completely dropped, could feel that my baby’s head is engaged and said I’m about two centimetres dilated. Not only that, but I have been suffering from a myriad of aches, pains and annoyances which all point to the fact that my bun is done. 

shutterstock_about to pop (1)

As I’ve mentioned I haven’t really been able to sleep properly for a little while now, but now it’s been taken to a whole new level. I can no longer sleep on my sides as I wake up in the middle of the night in agony. It feels as though someone is drilling into my hips! So to combat that I have chosen to prop myself up with a million pillows and sleep practically up-right. During the days I have also been suffering period like pain. In the last few days it has come and gone, but yesterday I had it all day. Then there’s the incessant toilet visits, I’m literally peeing and pooping (too much information?) all the freaking time. I’m also ravenous, but can’t really fit proper meals in my stomach right now, so I find myself constantly grazing and almost never satisfied (and suffering the obligatory heartburn). Weirdly though, even though I haven’t stopped eating, I haven’t put any weight on in the last two weeks. Oh, did I mention the joys of having your cervix being constantly treated like a punching bag? My favourite is the ole one two punch and kick combo. Two punches in the cervix and a kick in the ribs. Can’t a pregnant woman catch a beak?!

What’s also really starting to grind my gears is that I have nothing to wear. My belly is so huge that my clothing choices are now limited to one maxi dress, one pair of sweat pants, one pair of shorts and three maternity tank tops. Even those options seem to be dwindling by the day. It’s frustrating because I don’t want to buy anything new as labour could be imminent. I guess I have no choice at the end of the day but to have the same three outfits on rotation. At least they make me feel comfortable, even if it is just on the outside. 

Not only do I feel like a heifer, I think I’m starting to walk like one too. Or maybe it’s more like a big fat duck crossed with a penguin? And that’s when I don’t have pangs of sciatica shooting down the back of one leg. Combine my waddle with a my limp and I probably look like some huge lame farm animal, that most likely needs to be taken out the back paddock and shot. 

Come on girl, Mumma is more than ready. Surely it can’t be long now?!……….

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